


(I’m Just A) Chemical

by cherryblur



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Body Image, Forced Cohabitation, M/M, Swimming Pools
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-20 06:22:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17617160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryblur/pseuds/cherryblur
Summary: Tyler doesn’t want to drink it anymore.





	(I’m Just A) Chemical

“Sometimes I wish I could stop drinking it.” 

It’s not a thought, but a slight provocation to let Josh know he’s sick of it. 

“I bet you do.” Josh doesn’t care. He just keeps an eye on the hose and watches the pool fill up again. 

Tyler frowns into his cup and sees his own tired eyes staring back at him through slimy blue liquid.  
He grimaces. 

“Is he even going to come today?” His voice is rough with sleep. “Last time we waited for hours and he never showed.” 

“You only drank nine that day.”  
Josh’s expression is hidden under his hat. Tyler feels like a sitting duck.

His feet dangle over the edge of the pool.  
“I also threw up four times,” He mumbles. 

Josh doesn’t answer and tosses the hose away once it’s stopped flowing.  
Tyler watches him grab barrel after barrel, ragged, sliced lids leaking out more and more until the pool is brimming. 

He tucks his legs underneath himself.  
Fog rolls over his feet and laps at his sneakers. 

A few drops land on his skin and they burn.

“Finish that one. I’m feeling lucky today,” Josh says over his shoulder, and Tyler tips back the styrofoam until he’s giving it back with shaky hands. 

It’s refilled. “He’s almost ready.” 

Tyler gathers himself.  
Drinks and drinks and drinks until Ned is swimming circles by his feet. 

He grins. “I missed him.” 

Josh stands next to him and Tyler can almost see a smile underneath the shadows cast on his face.  
“I did too.” 

The pool is empty before noon. Ned pads to Tyler tentatively and purrs.  
When he’s offered the chlorine he steps back and sneezes. 

Josh laughs quietly. 

Ned gives them one last glance before retreating to his safe space. His home. 

“What now?” 

“We go get more,” Josh answers shortly.  
“for tomorrow.” 

•

“Found this. I thought you’d like it.” 

Tyler’s handed a flower. It’s red; a carnation, if his memory serves him right. 

He sits cross-legged in the same spot as before, staring into petals too pretty to be real. 

Josh cuts the pipes off the tank with an axe, and fog envelopes them both. 

“It’s almost night. Will he still come?”  
Tyler only pretends to drink because he knows he’s invisible for now. 

Josh ignores his question. “How many have you had today?”  
This is a trick.  
He knows exactly how many cups Tyler has had today, but just wants to make sure he’s not lying. 

“Seven,” He murmurs. It’s true. He doesn’t forget anymore. 

It’s quiet until the brush rustles and Ned slips into the pool. 

By the time fog subsided Ned was gone and night already fell.  
“Go home. I’ll clean up,” Josh tells him. 

Tyler throws up everything and more from his stomach when he reaches their house.  
“House” being a two room shack with wind blowing through the glassless windows.  
The carnation sits in a matching styrofoam cup on the windowsill. Except it gets to drink water. 

They’re lucky it’s never cold. Nights are sticky and warm, full of mosquitoes and animal cries, but he doesn’t mind.  
He’s curled in the bed when the screen door slams twice.  
(Open, shut.)

Tyler lets himself be cradled before he falls asleep and Josh presses a kiss to his forehead.  
“Only ten today.” Is what he hears before he’s gone for good. 

•

Josh is happy today.  
He lets Tyler stop drinking early and kisses him in the damp Australia heat. 

They sit tangled out in the sun, fingers touching wherever they could reach. 

“I feel sick,” Tyler says to nobody. “I threw up last night. A lot.” 

Josh nods. “I know.” 

“It’s gonna kill me one of these days.”  
He kisses him again and Tyler’s stomach does flips. 

•

He’s thin. Sickly. Ned nuzzles under his arm and gives him tiny purrs as encouragement after his noon swim. 

Josh cuts down his intake from twelve cups to seven. His lips are chapped and bleed constantly. 

Josh kisses it away. 

He shakes from cold, pulls at his hair. Josh shaves it one day after he got tired of looking at it. 

Tyler’s sick of chlorine.  
His mouth is ragged, the skin burned by chemicals not meant for him.  
Josh shaves his head too, to make him feel better.  
It grows back curly and dark. 

They hold hands until Tyler can’t stand to see his thin fingers stuck between Josh’s healthy ones. 

•

He only drinks three cups now.  
Each mouthful he holds before swallowing, as if it will make it a little less painful. 

Ned swims in shallow waters and they make love with mosquitoes buzzing in their ears. 

“I don’t wanna do this anymore,” Tyler’s face is stuffed into a pillow and Josh doesn’t know what he’s talking about. 

He’s so tired. 

•

He sits with his knees in his chest, eyes big and scared.  
Like Ned’s. 

The sun beats down on his skin, tanning it more than it needed to be. It feels like his tattoos are melting into his body.  
Josh never seems to tan.

“How many?” Tyler swallows dryly. His mouth tastes like salt. He hasn’t slept in days. 

“Only two today,” Josh frowns at the thin stream of chlorine coming from the hose.  
“maybe.” 

•

The day Tyler drinks one cup Ned doesn’t show up.  
He doesn’t show the next day, or the next.  
Not for a week. 

Josh throws things and yells when he can.  
Tyler tries drinking more. He feels bad. 

It makes him shake and he can’t stand right.  
Josh holds him and tips cup after cup to his lips. Sometimes he has to force it down. 

He chokes and wants to throw up. Josh keeps his hand over his mouth and tells him it’s worth it.  
_It’ll be worth it._

At ten cups Ned arrives and stares at an empty pool.  
“Please,” Josh begs the creature.  
“I know it’s not a lot, but please.” 

Tyler stares and licks his lips. He struggles to breathe. Ned looks at him and tilts his head. 

“Please.” Josh’s voice cracks. He’s so desperate. 

Tyler coughs up blood and Ned curls onto his lap. He runs bone thin fingers through white fur. 

They finally sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> take the metaphors for what you will. i wrote it in my own way of thinking.


End file.
